I finally bit the bullet and logged on to Everyday Sexism. It is a website set up to allow women to post their stories of the horrific misogyny and sexism which supposedly pervades our societies. The site is being lauded all over the other online feminist echo-chambers as “brave” “revealing” and “visionary”. Mostly it’s just one after another poster whining about some guy saying something she didn’t like or complaining because a man looked at her boobs. I was thinking about instances from my own life which I could post on the site that would compare with some of the entries I read.
I was sitting on the grass reading on the campus of the college where I work last summer. A young guy walked over to me. He noticed the book I was reading was Russian and asked me where I was from. I told him.
“Russian girls are the most beautiful in the world.” he said.
“Ha ha.” I replied and I suppose you say that when you meet a Spanish or Polish girl?”
“Well obviously not,” he laughed, “but I’m lying when I talk to them.”
“You speak English well” he continued. “Are you part Irish?”
“No, I’m 100% Russian.”
“So you don’t have any Irish in you at all?”
“No” I smiled, knowing the punch-line already.
“Would you like some?” the guy said.
It was a silly conversation that we both knew was going nowhere. Nobody was threatened or offended or violated or any of the things feminists want us to be. It was harmless banter. I didn’t take any offence because – well – because I’m a grown up.
So this is a story of sexism and apparent misogyny that I could post on Everyday Sexism. The problem is that I don’t believe that this man was some sinister sexist woman-hater. He was just joking. That’s right feminists – A joke is an alien concept to you I know, but it usually involves someone making fun of someone else but without any intention to harm. The funniest jokes are usually the ones that feminists would call “inappropriate” or “offensive” which is why a day at a feminist seminar is never going to be a barrel of laughs.
Some of the posts on Everyday Sexism are indeed, disturbing tales of rape and sexual abuse. Many of them are obviously fictional but I’m sure some of them are true. The overwhelming majority of the posts however, are simply shrill petulant whines by pathetic insecure people who consider themselves victims because someone once said something they didn’t like. One woman claimed to have been left feeling “devastated” because she had overheard a racy joke, and no, I’m honestly not making that up! I am leaving a few examples below which are typical of the entries on Everyday Feminism along with my own thoughts on each one.
Here are some whines of wisdom from a male user called Tim who obviously considers himself to be a thoroughly enlightened individual.
“Some of the men at my place of work met up earlier for drinks before the Christmas party. Topic of discussion when I joined them was ‘Who are your top 3?’. Meaning the 3 women in the office you’d like to do.”
Oh my! The sheer horror of it. We can feel the righteous, right-on anger boiling from his post. We can only hope that poor Tim got the counselling he needed after that ordeal. I get the impression that Tim is only in his early twenties so listen up Tim. Here is some free advice from an older woman. Your colleagues were indulging in some harmless banter. In England they call it schoolboy humour. It is sometimes childish but it is completely harmless and natural. Only a chronically insecure prude could possibly find it offensive. Furthermore you seem to completely under-estimate women. You obviously have no idea what kinds of conversations groups of women have about men. I can assure you that they tend to be ten times more “vulgar” and “sexist” than the example you are bleating about here. Listen carefully Tim. Nothing is less attractive to a woman than a fawning, sycophantic gelding. Do yourself a favour and grow a pair, and stop being such a prissy little baby.
A user called Claire though, has suffered even more abuse than poor Tim. Claire describes how a male colleague at the next desk asked her to hand him a pen. The pen she handed him was a very large one. When she gave him the pen, he uttered this shocking abomination – “so you like them big, do you?” I am speechless! Poor Claire will probably never be the same again.
Now User ACM makes her bid for victim of the month. “Every time I see a man reading page three” she snivells, “it makes me feel exposed, vulnerable and victimized.” Really? “Exposed,” “vulnerable” and “victimized?” and all because some guy is looking at a picture of a topless woman? I thought the phrase was – “I’m a woman hear me roar,” not “I’m a woman hear me blubber pathetically about something completely inconsequential.”
User Poppy goes for the sympathy vote. “I’ve only been kissed twice.” she says, “and both times it was unexpected and I did not initiate it.” Poor Poppy has only been kissed twice. On the face of it there doesn’t seem to be any mystery as to why that is. One question for Poppy though. Would it have been OK if you had initiated it, or would that have meant that you were being oppressive …… Or something?
BrokeGirl chimes in with her harrowing tale of the awful misogyny she experienced in a deli. The guy behind the counter offered her two burritos instead of the one she had ordered. She never expected her refusal to illicit such a terrifyingly misogynist response. The disgusting pig joked “I understand. Gotta keep that figure.” My heart goes out to this noble victim. BrokeGirl, wherever you are, we salute your bravery in the face of such unspeakable horror.
User anon has this shocking tale to tell. Reader discretion is advised.
“A male examiner walks past and starts talking to guys I was with about how they think it went and what careers they want in the future. Never made eye contact with me, spoke to me or acknowledged my existence.”
Hmmmm. Just a thought. Maybe he didn’t want to look at you for fear of you accusing him of objectifying you or something. Maybe he was afraid to talk to you because he was sure whatever he said would be taken as sexist. Maybe he was wisely giving you a wide berth for his own good. You see anon, men don’t generally like engaging with whiny, over-sensitive simpletons who expect them to walk on eggshells.
Susie tells us how she went to work wearing no bra with her boobs sticking through her dress. Susie thinks bra’s are oppressive you see. Her male boss predictably “oppressed” her by making a very reasonable request to cover herself in the workplace. Susie blubbers plaintively about how she felt “disrespected” Well no Susie. Your boss has the right to expect his employees to dress appropriately for work. The fact that you put him in the uncomfortable position of having to ask you to cover yourself is just selfish. You were the one being disrespectful.
Susie comes back to tell us how, on the Paris Metro, two men- Yes that’s right, two, took out their penises and stood masturbating while staring at her on a crowded carriage.
Sorry Susie but nobody who has ever been on the Paris Metro is going to believe that for a minute. Anyone who tried that on the Metro would be lynched by the other passengers. You need help Susie because your demons are very much in your own head.
User F tells us that “Many Men still think its acceptable to touch a woman’s boobs or bum in clubs.”
Many men? How many is that? Is it twenty or two hundred or two million? Sorry F. but they don’t. I don’t know what kind of clubs you go to. Maybe you’re wandering into strip clubs by mistake? I have been on this planet for thirty three years and I have been groped by a stranger on the bum an entire total of once. This seems to confirm to me that most men do not consider it acceptable to touch a woman without her consent. Oh and no …. I wasn’t traumatized for life but thanks for asking!
Ariana wades in with this particularly petulant whinge. “My boyfriend likes to call me his girl when we’re alone. It’s a term of endearment and, according to him, should be interpreted as a sweet gesture. Am I the only person who doesn’t like belonging to anyone other than myself?”
No Ariana, but you are probably the only person who is so “offended” by what is obviously a term of endearment. You might also be the only person who is unaware that you have the right to break up with your boyfriend if he bothers you that much.
OK this is getting really boring. It just goes on and on. There is page after page of this drivel – literally thousands of entries, all from these woefully insecure people who probably should never be allowed outside without supervision. If this is representative of the quality of the character of people that western universities are churning out, then the western world is in deep, deep trouble.
Of course this website is designed to do what most feminist sites are designed to do; paint women as perpetual victims who constantly need to be protected, by feminism no doubt; and cast men as disgusting, woman-hating brutes who think with their penises.
If there is any site that I have encountered that is truly insulting to women, then it is Everyday Sexism. I would like to say to any men reading this, that most women can actually take a joke. Most of us are actually grown up enough not to have a breakdown whenever we hear someone say something we find distasteful. Most of us have nothing in common with the pathetic, whiny, dribbling half-wits on Everyday Sexism.
As I often say. Feminism is not about strong women demanding equality. Feminism is about weak, insecure women who can’t handle equality.
Everyday Sexism is just one more example of that.